Why I stopped trying to have it all - and what I found instead

When I was working at the World Economic Forum, Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”caused a stir. The conversation it sparked was so intense, I felt compelled to read it myself. At the time, I was unmarried and a self-proclaimed workaholic. I understood her arguments on an intellectual level, and while I didn’t disagree, I also didn’t really get what she was talking about.

Fast forward ten years: I was now married and fortunate to have a baby boy. Six months after returning from maternity leave, I changed jobs — and suddenly, that article came rushing back to me.

I constantly felt short on time. Of course, my baby was my top priority. But the job I was in demanded more than I could give. I was in a constant state of dissatisfaction, because everything I did felt only half-done. And for someone who leans toward perfectionism, that was especially tough.

My mother always says that life will teach you what you need to learn. For me, that lesson is figuring out how to manage perfectionism in a way that doesn't drain the joy out of everything I do.

The reality is, if you've built a strong career and your CV shows you're a high achiever, people will expect you to keep performing at that level. They may nod empathetically when you mention family commitments — but the expectations rarely change.

There's a lot of noise around the idea that women can "have it all." But right now, in my experience, it's just that — noise. Children need time, love, consistency, and care. So here's the hard truth: if you have a family (and this goes for men as well), you will, at some point, have to compromise — at least temporarily — between family and career.

I'm still figuring it out. But I've reached a place where I've acknowledged the tension — and accepted that compromises have to be made. And strangely, that acceptance has brought me peace. It's far easier than living in constant disappointment with myself.

What I've come to believe is that the most powerful thing any of us can do — while the system catches up — is to make those compromises intentionally. Not driven by guilt or expectation, but by what genuinely matters to us.

So I'll leave you with this: are you crafting your path, or just going with the flow? And if it's the latter — is that really working for you?