Why women can't have it all

When I was working at the World Economic Forum, Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”caused a stir. The conversation it sparked was so intense, I felt compelled to read it myself. At the time, I was unmarried and a self-proclaimed workaholic. I understood her arguments on an intellectual level, and while I didn’t disagree, I also didn’t really get what she was talking about.

Fast forward ten years: I was now married and fortunate to have a baby boy. Six months after returning from maternity leave, I changed jobs—and suddenly, that article came rushing back to me.

I constantly felt short on time. Of course, my baby was my top priority. But the job I was in demanded more than I could give. I was in a constant state of dissatisfaction, because everything I did felt only half-done. And for someone who leans toward perfectionism, that was especially tough.

My mother always says that life will teach you what you need to learn. For me, that lesson is figuring out how to manage perfectionism in a way that doesn’t drain the joy out of everything I do.

The reality is, if you’ve built a strong career and your CV shows you’re a high achiever, people will expect you to keep performing at that level. They may nod empathetically when you mention family commitments—but the expectations rarely change.

There’s a lot of noise around the idea that women can “have it all.” But right now, in my experience, it’s just that—noise. Children need time, love, consistency, and care. So here’s the hard truth: if you have a family (and this goes for men as well), you will, at some point, have to choose—at least temporarily—between family and career.

I’m still figuring it out. But I’ve reached a place where I’ve acknowledged the tension and accepted that I have to choose. And strangely, that realization has brought me a sense of peace. It’s easier than living in constant disappointment with myself.